Back Garden Beautiful

When light collides
Darkness forms
When we divide
All will become clear

Like your reflection
In my eyes
Cloud, crystal, sea-calm and red
The apple of our lives

Up-rooted tree
Bulbs in the dark
This garden cannot foresee
What we swore
Was the beat of our heart
Now it’s fallen apart

Chained, wild dance
To rapturous applause
I feel like a rebel
With no particular cause

Fuelling pain
With burning books
Cheaper than gas
All that I took
The heart I’ve worn
The shirt I tear
From your back
The loosened slack you held
Before

The cold swept indoors
The bitter warmth of Spring
Birds absently bring
Songs of birth

Lest we forget
How to stand earthed
Bound to seed
Or this sapling hearth

Now my love turns, leaves
Blossom laid, snow-mute
Oh would that I had stayed

 

Imperfections

Crying on a plane to New York, New York
No permit to work nor play
Green card, did you get a green card?
It’s only a short stay
Traveling alone fans flames
Smokeless, smouldering
I depart without declaration

Almost feeing I could become someone
Except for the hem of my skirt’s undone
Achilles heel, clumsy hole
Somebody stop me baring my soul    

Guilt-ridden, provoking
One part my mother with the favour-prompting
Stranger prodding to see how things feel
Just out of sight

I’m perfecting imperfection
That’s what I tell myself
I tell myself
There is nobody else

Steward’s a sleaze, lives in Queens
Aims to please, to meet his kind of girl
See the world, travel by token air-fares    

Now I lie on a gay friend’s sofa,
Shakespeare’s cuckold throws a blanket over
My many Manhattans, tourist whims
Meat-packing district, my Chelsea mourning

He takes us out for hard-boiled eggs,
Salt-beef bagel, oh he’s got good legs
But the whiskey comes up, the rain pours down
No real cure in this grid-locked town

I’m perfecting imperfection
That’s what I tell myself
I tell myself
There is no-body else

Perfecting imperfection
That’s what I’ll tell them when
The flights are flown, the men are all kissed
When there’s nowhere left to yearn

Still I feel a shell breaking
Not sure whose, sure I’m not faking
When was my Lord so ungently tempered
Stopped his ears with my lack of repentance
My lack of repentance
Lack of repentance
 

The King's Horses

Thought once I had a King;
Wore an invisible crown,
Sometimes spoke truth,
Mostly knew to say the wrong thing at the right time,
Faithfully I played the clown

All the King’s horses,          
And all the King’s men,       
Could not put my heart  
Back together again

Fall, fall away,
Time heals, or so they bravely say,
Well all this time I feel,
Silence holds you real             

Still I play the courtier,
Your courtier in the wings,
Chasing shadows,
Clutching precious things

All your pretty horses
And all these men,
No they won’t,
Oh they can’t put my heart together again

Counting crows in the sky,
Wondering if I
Could fall from great heights,
If your wisdom was my pride

All the King’s horses,
And all the King’s men,
No they won’t,
Oh they cant put my heart together again

All the King’s horses,
And all the King’s men,
Could not put my heart
Back together again
No they won’t, they can’t put my heart together again
 

Swimming in the Longest River

Prodding in the dark for affection
Night will hide sleepy woes
Hazel hair sleek as an otter’s
Amphibious creature, friend or foe  

Gave him a book on Freud’s lectures
Only book he read, ‘least that’s what he said
‘Don’t deny erotic pleasure’
Page well-thumbed, found the line he needed

Freud never got to beloved Egypt
Fled the Nazis, not his fears
They say the longest river there
Is denial..

I’m prodding in the dark for affection
Night reveals sleepy woes
Hazel hair sleek as an otter’s
Ambiguous creature, friend or foe

Tried to twist it into hope
But something snapped, somebody broke
Shielded by your guilty cloak
Too little too late, the demon spoke

Freud never got to beloved Egypt
Fled the Nazis, not his fears
They say the longest river there
Is denial, is denial

We’re all swimming in that river
I would oft’ come up for air
Lately my lungs have expanded
That, or I’ve developed gills

To swim in this river
I would oft’ come up for air
But lately my lungs, they keep expanding
That, or I’ve developed gills..

 

Holiday

She’s a Goddess, she calms you down,
Went to Italy, ran from town,
But the dirt of England calls her back,
Those rolling hills leave her flat

Puts her arms around your pain,
She’s the weighing scale of your day,
As you push them one by one into the car,
‘Round the merry-go-round of a West country park

You wouldn’t take it on holiday with you,
Take it away on holiday with you,
Said you couldn’t take it away,
On holiday with you

She’s a goddess, she’s not faking,
Seeks your approval in all she’s making,
Sees you in the dark,
Feels you see her a thousand parts

In keeping a cautious eye,
Lost control, the child died,
With your bags forever packed, your letters unsent,
Her belly aches with your empty intent

And you wouldn’t take it on holiday with you,
Take it away on holiday with you,
Said you couldn’t take it away,
On holiday with you

 

Loose Change

He came, he went
He conquered her that night
Before he took flight
Chauffeured from responsibility

Competitive child
Beneath a fertile, chestnut tree
Even when she tied his laces
He did not thank me

Swinging her best shot
He retold his bad jokes
Side by side on the pavement
Lost his phone heading home
His tail between their legs

She waved him farewell                   
Behind wound-up, tinted glass
Could not return from whence they came
The open sky would only cause more pain

So she took the high road
With the Laundrettes
The betting shops
With the Orthodox

Bought rollmops for her friend
As the klezmer band marched on
Took the coins, politely ran
Conviction in her hand

Like change, loose change
She hears that same refrain
Loosely changed
 
It lands, you leave
Regain, recede
Disbelief suspends the match
Fuels her every sense
 
He wills her bare nerves worn to the edge
Scores a bed-notch, pound of flesh
Yet swore to return
 
Bound in chains
We hear that same refrain
 

Too Social

This house is too social
Kitchen constant coffee confessional
They’re in luck, the sun pours in
I seize the moment, retreat within
Gladioli and hoover in each hand
March to my bedroom, make amends

Feel so silent, ageing child
Only clean up when a pretty boy comes 'round
Curse my laziness, lack of technique
As I suck up sea-shells once romantically plucked

Swallowed accidentally
By this tired failing landlord's machine
Knitwear folded behind closed doors
Lamps will improve woodchip on the walls

I was once spoilt by you
I ramble with something to prove

Preparing for love
Preparing for lust
Repairing for love
Preparing ..

Woke up with bruises on my legs
Bad circulation, that's what he said

'It's all broken, life can be a bitch
When you're running on old, upheld promises'
You are there, but are you here
Like a Saint, might you reappear

You are there, but are you here
Like a Saint, might you appear

There you are, but are you here?
Like a Saint might you appear..

This life is too social
House a crowded confessional
We're in luck, the sun pours in
Seize the moment, retreat within

Preparing for love
Preparing for lust
Repairing for love
Preparing

 

Cassiopeia

Come play for me
Cassiopeia
With your lovely tone

In galaxies
You divine
New religion

We are only birds
Each with a broken wing
Dare I keep dismissing

Coincidence, symptom
Too blind to feel
Telescopic horizon
The starry scopes you heal
We ascend the tower
Family transcending

Jealousy
Impatience
Kills the dawn
We're to know

It's far too late
For luxury of hate
Represent the unexpected

Go where no man has gone before
Tend faith
Acacia grove
Your holy whore

In coincidence, in symptom
Blind to feel
The telescopic horizon
Starry scopes you heal
Ascend the tower
We are family transcending

I slip around you in a pool of stars
Push against, it comes apart
Grip loosens as another starts
Devil's devouring

You clamber up my ivory skin
Victorious in thinking
That walls fall before your eyes
Angel, heathen

In Coincidence, symptom
Blind to feel
Telescopic horizon
Starry scopes, you heal
Ascend
Family transcend